


Drawing the Line

by ShadeCrawler



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Anxiety, Gen, Running Away, self-deprecating thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-04
Updated: 2018-08-04
Packaged: 2019-06-21 12:12:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,393
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15557460
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShadeCrawler/pseuds/ShadeCrawler
Summary: Summary: Where Virgil was and what he was doing during “Excepting Anxiety” and the start of “Accepting Anxiety”.





	Drawing the Line

Virgil had meant to write a note.

It didn’t really matter. The others would be able to figure out what he did eventually. It would probably take a while, Virgil doubted that anyone would care that he left. But, the thought nagged at him as he walked further into the subconscious. 

He almost turned back just to write that note. He had to force himself to keep moving. Virgil had barely worked up the nerve to go through with his plan the first time around, he’d never be able to go through with it again. He just needed to keep moving, keep himself closed off from Thomas, and everything would be alright.

But, he had really meant to write that note.

He had wanted to put so much into the note. An explanation of what he was doing and why he was doing it. Virgil had planned out an apology he would write for Thomas for not doing his job properly. He was going to explain why he had been so overbearing, though that had never been his intention, and that he had only ever wanted to keep him safe.

But, the most important thing that would have been in that letter would’ve been the parts that would’ve been specifically addressed to Patton. Virgil had wanted to thank the fatherly Side for trying to include him. For being kind to him even though Virgil probably made it tough at times. Patton had never been anything but nice to him and Virgil had wanted to thank him for it.

Too late now though. He would just have to hope that Patton knew how much Virgil appreciated him.

Virgil tugged his hood up over his head and tried to wave some of the mist away from his face. The subconscious was neverending. He had never ventured this far into it before, usually staying near his and the Light Sides living area. But, whenever Virgil had been in the subconscious he had been able to faintly hear things. Ideas drifting in and out of the mist and Thomas’ thoughts.

Today though, the subconscious was weirdly loud and packed. 

Normally, the voices were quiet, so soft that you often couldn’t even make out the words. Today, sentences were being screamed over each other. If things usually drifted through ever so often then it was the exact opposite today. Everything was just so loud and it was driving Virgil crazy. He wondered if the subconscious was like this because he had cut himself off from Thomas but quickly shrugged it off.

After all, Virgil didn’t do anything but hurt Thomas. Now that Virgil was no longer bothering him, things would only improve for Thomas. The subconscious was probably just loud today because Roman was having a creative speer and couldn’t stick to one idea for very long. It would probably make Thomas real happy to get so many ideas and not get bogged down by Virgil.

It sure was loud though.

Virgil winced at a particularly loud thought, something about oats and honey clusters, and figured that he had enough. He pulled his headphones over his head, not bothering to turn any music on. He wasn’t in the mood and the headphones blocked out enough noise on their own.

He didn’t really have a plan for what he was going to do now. He wouldn’t be going back, that was for sure. And, he couldn’t go to the Dark Sides. He had been down that road once and Virgil would never be going there again, no matter how hard he hit rock bottom. The only thing that he figured he could do for now is to keep walking. Just keep walking and everything would be fine.

Virgil stumbled suddenly and struggled to regain his balance. He was being summoned, by Logan of all people. He fought back against the urge to sink up in his spot at the stairs in Thomas’ apartment and kept walking. He could do this.

Roman’s summons almost made laugh. Was Princey so eager to paint Virgil as the villain that he actually decided to try and summon him? If Virgil wanted to get insulted he would have shown up like he normally did.

But, he almost did go back and deal with being insulted with Patton summoned him. Virgil could almost hear Patton’s cheery and encouraging voice as he called for him. He closed his eyes and rubbed them harshly as he continued to walk and ignored Patton’s call. It almost physically hurt to ignore Patton’s first summons, let alone his second. Virgil felt a mix of relief and grief when Patton stopped.

Virgil’s thoughts drifted as he walked. He wondered what Thomas and the others were doing right now, whether or not they were even aware he had left. Probably not. They were probably doing something a lot of fun now that they didn’t have to worry about the villain Anxiety coming up and ruining everything for them. That’s was they tried to summon him, they were trying to tell him to stay away and leave them -

Virgil stopped and straightened up abruptly, his hood falling off his head as he did so. A chill went up his spine and he was suddenly very aware of the fact just how much a Side was connected to their room.

Because someone had just entered his room. Four someones. 

He immediately suspected the Dark Sides. If there was anyone who would want to trash his room when it was vulnerable it would be them. But, they had only tried that once and it hadn’t ended well for them. Besides Virgil always locked his room when he left, how could they get in?

Then he realized that one of the intruders wasn’t a Side. He could feel Thomas clearly in his room, he could almost see him standing there with a dopey smile on his face, and everything fell into place. The Light Sides had used Thomas to get into his room. They had ignored the fact that his room was most likely locked and stormed in like they owned the place.

Virgil tried to ignore the anger that was pooling in his gut and force it back down. ‘ _Does it matter?’_ He thought. _‘You’re leaving anyway. Who cares if they go through your stuff, look at your posters, walk into your personal space even though you never invited them to. Why should you care if they go through your notebooks? Who cares if they read your poems and sonnets and stories and look at your drawings,’_

Virgil gritted his teeth and pulled at his hair. The regret at forgetting to write a note goodbye was being drowned out by the pure anger that he was feeling. His room was his special space, it didn’t matter that he was no longer going to be using it! He didn’t go waltzing into the others’ room so they shouldn’t go waltzing into his!

He was livid. The worst part was that they brought Thomas into this. They couldn’t go into Virgil’s room on their own so they asked Thomas to bring them in, completely ignoring the fact that he locked the fucking door.

He had thought that Patton at least would respect his privacy. Patton knew how much Virgil hated having people in his space. He knew that! He expected this of Roman, maybe Logan, but not Patton!

The small part of him that wasn’t shaking with anger was trembling with betrayal. Virgil had thought that they wanted him to go. Did they hate him so much that they had to go into his room and, and, and do who knows what?!

For a moment, Virgil thought about ignoring them. Just ignore whatever they were doing and keep going. He could do that. Just keep running away and everything will be okay. Besides, the moment Virgil was near him, Thomas would feel anxious again and wasn’t that what he was trying to avoid?

But they were in his room. And that’s where he drew the line.

Virgil took his headphones off his head and folded them up, stuffing them in his hoodie pocket. He drew himself up and blinked out of the subconscious and into his room, ready to give the Light Sides and Thomas a piece of his mind.

**_“What are you doing in my room!”_ **

 


End file.
